Have you ever walked into a room and wondered how anyone could possibly allow it to become so cluttered? Perhaps you have looked at photographs of hoarders’ homes and thought, “Why don’t they just throw some of it away?” Did you ever imagine being a compulsive hoarder?
Hoarding Is Not Just About Having Too Many Possessions.
I used to think that clutter was simple. Now I have figured out that compulsive hoarding is not just about having too many possessions. From my point of view, at least, things are more complicated than that.
I assure you that I do not wake up every morning intending to make my home untidy. In fact I often look around and wish it were different. I would love to have clear surfaces and neatly arranged cupboards. I wish I had enough space to move around without worrying about what is lying in my way.
The Compulsive Problem Began With The Cupboards.
If you want to imagine being a compulsive hoarder, then the problem begins with the cupboards. I have cupboards because I need somewhere to put things.
When a cupboard becomes full, I do not necessarily see that as a reason to get rid of something. Instead, I think about where else I can put it.
Perhaps there is room behind the sofa? Maybe I can place it on top of another cupboard. There might be space under the bed. The spare room has a corner that is not being used. A box can go in that corner.
The Clutter Multiplies Exponentially, I Cannot Stop!
One box becomes two. Two boxes become several. Before I realise what has happened, things that should have been inside the cupboards are accumulating throughout the house. This is where the problem becomes difficult for me.
Every object seems to have a reason for remaining. Something that appears worthless to you may have a story behind it. Perhaps I paid good money for it. Perhaps someone gave it to me. Perhaps I might need it one day. Perhaps I could repair it, or use it for something I have not yet imagined.
Throwing Something Away Has Become More Significant
If you want to imagine being a compulsive hoarder, then consider this. Throwing something away is far more significant to me than simply putting rubbish in a bin.
I may stand holding an old object for several minutes, arguing with myself about whether I really need it. Eventually, I put it down again. I’ll decide later. But later often never comes …
My Clutter Overwhelms Me. Where Should I Start?
There is another side to hoarding that people may not see. The clutter can become overwhelming. Once there are too many things, deciding where to start becomes almost impossible:
- Should I clear the kitchen cupboard?
- Should I tackle the boxes in the bedroom?
- Should I sort through the papers?
- Should I deal with stuffpiled against the wall?
Each decision creates another series of decisions. Eventually, doing nothing feels easier than trying to solve everything at once. That is how accumulation happens, believe me!
It Is Not Necessarily Just One Dramatic Event
Hoarding is not necessarily one dramatic event. It can happen gradually, almost invisibly. A cupboard becomes full. Then a shelf becomes full. Then a corner becomes a storage area. Eventually, parts of the home that were intended for living become places for storing possessions.
From My Point Of View, There Is Also Embarrassment.
I know what other people might think when they see my home. I worry that they will think I am lazy, dirty or irresponsible. I may avoid inviting people inside, because I do not want them to see the mess.
People Visiting Can Make The Situation Even Worse.
The less often people visit, the less pressure I feel to deal with the clutter. I can close a door and pretend the problem is not there.
But I know it is there. Sometimes I look at my home and wonder how it reached this point. I remember when there was more space. I also remember when cupboards closed properly and tables were clear. Imagine being a compulsive hoarder like me!
Part Of Me Wants My Home Back. Another Part Struggles
Part of me wants that home back. Another part of me struggles with the idea of letting things go.
That conflict is difficult to explain to someone who does not experience it. From the outside, the solution seems obvious: throw things away.
From My Point Of View, It Is Not That Simple.
The things around me represent memories, security, possibilities and money. They can also represent decisions I have postponed for years.
If you want to imagine being a compulsive hoarder please understand this. Perhaps the most important thing I want people to understand is just this.
A compulsive hoarder does not necessarily choose to live surrounded by clutter. Sometimes the clutter gradually becomes something that controls the way the person lives.
I Do Not Enjoy Cupboards Overflowing And Possessions Accumulating
I am not proud of it. I do not enjoy having cupboards overflowing and possessions accumulating elsewhere in my home. I would like to regain control.
But I also know that simply telling me to clean it up does not solve the problem. I need to understand why I find it so difficult to let things go.
From my point of view, that is where the real solution begins, Not with a rubbish bag, not with criticism.
But with understanding why I keep putting things down and saying: I’ll deal with that later…
